Be that Shoulder for someone to cry on!!!!

Why do we hate?

What is it in us that causes us to hate a fellow human being or group of human beings?

It is a disease from which no one is immune.

I had a conversation with a good friend of mine above womanhood and She had finished an assignment on women’s rights, and even so, still felt bothered by the topics discussed in her assignment. It centred on how some women aggressively compete, undermine and degrade one another. While we were talking, I silently agreed to everything she said as she was quick to point out that women are constantly and subconsciously tearing each other down. She was irritated by the habitual and constant use of the offensive terms “hoes” and “bitches” by women to address other women. She and I grew up with women tearing down our looks and our hobbies.

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Once our conversation ended, our conversation stood prominently in my thoughts. I kept thinking about why. The why was so important to me and though I felt like I already had a good idea why I wanted to take time to really think about why women at times seem to fall into the trap of doing this to other women.

I always think this to myself every time I think about how women treat other women and why womanhood can be so polarizing: What does it mean to be a woman and why? Who gets to decide what a woman is? If a woman is different from another woman, what unites them as women? When experience can vary so radically from woman to woman, is there any point in pursuing a single definition of feminism or womanhood?

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We assume women who are attractive, and also brilliant and personable are happy. We assume women who are attractive, and also attend elite universities, and work at the best companies are perfect. I’ve been very anxious to be around these type of women because I have many insecurities about myself — like not being able to afford the best makeup, the cutest clothes, struggling in classes sometimes, having crooked teeth, and not attracting as many people.

What we have to realize is maybe that attractiveness came at a price. We’ve seen attractive women receive unsolicited attention. We’ve seen attractive women who attend elite universities flock to therapists. We’ve seen attractive women vomit.  We’ve seen attractive women commit suicide. 

We’ve seen attractive women scour their wardrobes for the largest, ugliest cardigan they can find to hide themselves in. We’ve seen attractive women wear a little less make-up and pack a few pounds for protection. We’ve seen women degrade and demean attractive women because we’re still insecure about ourselves.

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Catch yourself if you’re feeling competitive with another woman.

Try to reach out to her and work together instead. It’s not always going to be that simple, but I’ve been amazed at how just pausing for a moment to check my own behaviour in those contexts can go incredibly far.

Be a role model of how you can lead a successful career while supporting women, people of colour, disabled and LGBTQ colleagues. Challenge the people around you to get better and do better. When you see young women doubting herself, behaving competitively, or saying something catty about another woman, hold them accountable, but also spend some time getting to know them. You may learn that they have insecurities about themselves that they’re projecting onto other women. The more women feel empowered and supported, the less they’ll feel the need to compete and compare themselves to their colleagues.

The reality is that women don’t have to de-value other women to find value within them. Instead, we should defog the mirror in which we see ourselves and other women. It’s okay if a woman is prettier, smarter, taller, fitter or whatever else than you; imagined or not. When we focus on our own light, our own uniqueness and fulfilling our own paths in life, it will become easier to see that our value is not tied to anyone’s approval and that “other” woman owns their autonomy and their choices have nothing to do with you or womanhood.

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Stay true to yourself and focus on tackling projects and getting opportunities that YOU’LL be proud of and want to go on for hours on end.

At times as a woman and minority, it seems like getting praise for your work is the easiest way to move up in the industry because it shows that you’re just as capable as your contenders. It’s more important to get yourself to a career where it’s okay for you to be yourself.

When we each focus on being the dominant force in our own universe, rather than invading other universes, we all win. When we are fully able to see that we each are unique beings, then we can understand why we don’t have to prove how worthy we are by putting other women down. If you want to better yourself, it does not take tearing another woman down to do so. You are your own competition, so start there. We are worthy just as we are, and it’s time we all started to believe that — Reassure your female peers of this. You’re making the world a better place by being yourself.

 

Bhagya Halgolla.

19th Dec 2018.

 

 

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Apple Puff

Easy Peesy Apple Puff !!!!

apple puff 1  Ingredients:

Puff Pastry sheets

I tbs cinnamon

1/4 cup Sugar

2 apples thinly sliced into half moons

powdered sugar

juice of one lemon

2 cups water

Method:

first, make your cinnamon sugar by mixing cinnamon and sugar. set aside.

(Make sure your puff pastry is thawed)

Roll it out on a lightly floured surface to your desired size

Transfer it to a parchment lined baking sheet

Create a 1/2″ border around the edges of the sheet. Be careful to only cut part way through the sheet. This helps the apple filling to stay in the middle and the outside edge to puff up creating a nice little edge that helps keep the filling inside.

Brush just inside the border with beaten egg.

Peel, core, and thinly slice apples. Toss with lemon juice, cinnamon sugar

Arrange apples over puff pastry.

Bake for 20 mins

Drizzle with icing sugar.

serve with some whipped cream or vanilla Ice-cream.

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Chocolate Swiss Roll

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Ingredients

Sponge Cake

  • 1/2 cup  flour
  • 1/4 cup cocoa powder
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 4 eggs
  • 2/3 cup sugar
  • 1/2 tsp  instant coffee
  • 2 tbsp oil

Filling

  • 1/4 cup butter (room temperature)
  • 1/2 cup icing sugar
  • 1 tsp Vanilla essence

Method:

Let’s make the cake first;

  1. Preheat the oven to 350F (180C). Butter a 12X16 inch baking tray and line it with parchment or wax paper.
  2. In a medium bowl whisk flour with cocoa powder, baking powder and salt. Set aside.
  3. In a large bowl add eggs and sugar. Beat with an electric mixer until creamy and foamy. Add oil and mix until well incorporated.   Add instant coffee and then gradually add flour mixture.
  4. Pour the batter into the prepared baking tray and spread evenly into the corners using the back of the spatula.
  5. Bake for about 10 to 12 minutes until a toothpick inserted into the centre and comes out clean.
  6. Take a parchment paper and sprinkle with cocoa powder. This helps the cake not stick.
  7. Flip the cake over the paper. Remove the parchment paper it was baked with.
  8. Roll with the parchment paper inside. You have to do it while it is still warm. otherwise, it cracks.
  9. Then let it cool completely

Filling

  1. Add butter to the bowl and beat until creamy gradually add icing sugar and beat well, add vanilla and set aside.
  2. Unroll the cake and spread the filling evenly over the cake.
  3. Roll the cake back up. Refrigerate for at least 1 hour before serving.

Enjoy!!!!

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29 Things That I Have Learned in 29 Years,

Its been a while since I have posted my last blog post. Hope all of you beautiful people are doing great. 🙂 Anyway, I have decided to come up with something new this time, and yes it is not related to cooking. but life. I am turning 30 in 2019 and feel I am much more grown up and matured compared to my early 20’s. Here I am sharing the best 29 things that I have learned in 29 years.

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  1. Quality Over Quantity: Identify those quality relationships/ friendships and really invest your time and energy in those relationships instead of trying to please the masses.
  2. Speaking of friendships, keep in touch with friends check how they are doing at least once in a while.
  3. It is your job to find things make you happy and meet people who make you happy.
  4.  Your family is a priority. always have time for them.
  5. Eat right but eat the Ice-cream too. it’s great to be disciplined on your self but don’t forget to live life along the way. 🙂 and good food is worth spending money on.
  6. Take a step back and relax every once in a while.
  7. Parties are way more fun when you only invite a small group of people you are really close to.
  8. Not everyone will like you and that’s OK. Let go of people hurt you or put you down. People who tell mean things to you only demonstrate their shortcoming zone. Do not take them seriously and move on.
  9. I’d rather enjoy my life than fill my bank account. 😛 I know money is necessary, however, I would rather enjoy every small moment than push my self harder. nature-benefits.jpg.860x0_q70_crop-scale
  10. Don’t judge anyone, because you have no idea about what they are going through unless you are in it.
  11. You don’t have to get married or have two children.  (or even one) You should get married or have children when you are really, really ready. And not just because it’s what your suppose to do.
  12. You are responsible for your own happiness.
  13. Most Problems are smaller than they seem, So worry less.
  14. You can’t have everything in life, or You can have everything, but not all at once.
  15. Stop comparing your self with others. Everyone is unique in their own way.
  16. Forgive the ones that hurt you, Although it is easy to hold onto grudges.
  17. Don’t believe everything you hear.
  18. Think twice before making a viewpoint online or offline.
  19. Travel as much as you can. at the end its all worth it. hdwp693968124
  20. Physical fitness is very important so is mental fitness.
  21. Sometimes the best conversation happens when we listen to the other person.
  22. Indifference and ego kill many important relationships.
  23. Find what works for you in life, just because your partner is a morning person you don’t have to be one.
  24. Understand your privilege.
  25. Meet people without any intention.
  26. Always sleep enough. 🙂 ( and this the best one I have learned so far)
  27. Experiences are way more important than material.
  28. No matter how wrong I am, I will do everything.
  29. last But no the least, OPEN UP, SPEAK UP and don’t get panic about getting older.

 

 

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( All the images via Google)

Japanese Style Yakisoba noodles.

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Ingredients
  • ½ onion
  • 1 carrot
  • 3 shiitake mushrooms
  • 2 green onions/scallions
  • 4 cabbage leaves
  • ¾ lb sliced meat or seafood of your choice
  • 2 Tbsp neutral flavor oil (vegetable, canola, etc)
  • Freshly ground black pepper
  • 1 package yakisoba noodles
  • 4-6 Tbsp yakisoba sauce  (Recipe follows)
Yakisoba Sauce (Makes ½ cup (8 Tbsp))
  • 2 tsp granulated sugar
  • 2 tsp soy sauce
  • 4 tsp oyster sauce
  • 4 tsp ketchup
  • 4 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce
Instructions
Gather all the ingredients.2
Whisk all the ingredients for Yakisoba sauce and set aside.
Slice the onion, cut the carrot into julienned strips, and slice the shiitake mushrooms.
Chop the green onion into 2 inch pieces, cut the cabbage into small bite pieces and cut the meat into 1 inch pieces.
In a skillet or wok, heat oil on medium high heat. Cook the meat until no longer pink.
Add the onion and carrot and cook for 1-2 minutes.
Add the cabbage and coo until almost tender.
Lastly add the green onion and shiitake mushrooms and cook for 1 minute. Season with freshly ground black pepper.
Transfer the yakisoba noodles to a sieve and quickly run hot water over yakisoba noodle. Separate the noodles with hands. Add the noodles to the skillet/wok, and lower the heat to medium. It’s best to use tongs to combine the noodles with ingredients. Keep an eye on the noodles as they may stick to the skillet/wok.Add Yakisoba Sauce. Depending on the amount of ingredients, adjust the amount of sauce to use. Mix all together using tongs. Transfer to plates and garnish with dried green seaweed and pickled red ginger. Serve immediately.
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Pomegranate Juice

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Pomegranate Juice is one of the most healthiest juice on the planet. Pomegranates have been shown to prevent and naturally treat everything from inflammation and high cholesterol to high blood pressure and hyperglycemia. The extracts of pomegranate fruit contain POLYPHENOLS and other compounds that have been shown in scientific studies to have anti-proliferative, pro-apoptotic and anti-inflammatory effects in prostate, lung, breast and other cancers. Pomegranate juice has a high antioxidant capacity, and scientific research has demonstrated that it can help lower high blood pressure.

Here I am sharing the recipe of this amazing drink, so that you can make it at home.

Method,

place one cup pomegranate seeds in a blender jar. pour 1/2 cup water and pulse it few times in a blender until the outer layer of seeds broke and release the juice.

Tip:  do not over blend  as the seeds break completely the juice turns bitter.

Take a large bowl and place a strainer or a muslin cloth over it to sieve the juice. pour the prepared juice over it. press the pulp using a backside of a spoon to extract all the juice.

Pour the prepared juice into a serving glass and serve immediately to get more vitamins and antioxidants.

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Tempered Potato (අල තෙල් දාල )

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Ingredients. 

  • 6 Medium Potatoes (boiled, cut into cubes)
  • 1 Onion (sliced)
  • 3 Clove Garlic (sliced)
  • few curry Leaves
  • 4 Teaspoon Maldive fish
  • 2 Teaspoon Chilli flakes
  • 1/2 Chilli powder
  • 1/2 Teaspoon Turmeric
  • 6 Small Dried Red Chilies (optional)
  • 2 Tablespoon Oil
  • 1 Cinnamon piece (optional)
  • 1 Teaspoon Salt (to taste)
  • 1 Teaspoon Mustard seeds

Method,

  • Heat the oil in a  pan.
  • when oil is hot add mustard seeds and let it pop.
  • Then add onion, garlic, curry leaves, chilli flakes, small dried red chilies and cinnamon stick.
  • Fry it for 5 minutes stirring occasionally.
  • Meanwhile rub the tumeric and chilli powder with potatoes.
  • When the onion mixture is brown add potatoes into onion mixture.
  • Mix onion and potatoes well. Keep it on heat nearly 2 to 3 minutes.
  • Add salt to taste.
  •  ENJOY!!!!!!!!!

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Cashew Curry (Sri-Lankan Style)

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Cashew nut curry is another rich and flavorful dish in Sri lanka. Mostly we serve this in a special occasions. I Made this yummy curry blast this weekend for my lunch and thought to share the recipe with you. here is what you need, 

Cashew nut 150g

one small onion thinly sliced

2 garlic cloves minced

few curry leaves

2 green chilies

Sri lankan curry powder

Chili powder

Turmeric powder

salt to taste

1 inch long cinnamon stick

1 and 1/2 cup thick coconut cream

Method,

Soak the cashew nuts in water for over night

put the soaked cashew nut in to a clay pot add all the ingredients and cook until cashews are soft. stirring occasionally.

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Fish Cutlets ( Sri- Lankan Style)

This is very popular and tasty, party food as well as a one of the popular short-eats in Sri Lanka.  today I thought to share my cutlets recipe with you all. hope you all enjoy it just like my other Sri Lankan dishes. 😛

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INGREDIENTS:

150g canned tuna fish (any fish you like)
150g potatoes  boiled & mashed
1 large onion  finely chopped
4 -5 garlic cloves finely chopped
2 green chilies  finely chopped
4 -5 curry leaves
½ teaspoon chili powder
½ teaspoon Sri Lankan raw curry powder
¼ teaspoon turmeric
1 – 1½ tablespoons black pepper powder
3 tablespoons oil
Salt to taste
2 eggs – Well beaten
3 cups of bread crumbs
Oil to fry

Method, 
Heat a pan with oil in medium heat.
Then add chopped garlic.
Add the onions and fry it till it’s gets light brown.
Now you can add fish or salmon into the pan and and mix it well.
Put the heat on law heat and add chili powder, turmeric, pepper & salt, mix the mixture well.
Reduce the heat to low and add mashed potatoes. Mix it well with the fish mixture.
and add salt to your taste.
Let it cool and shape your mixture into small balls.

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Heat the oil in a large frying pan in medium heat.
When the oil is ready, one by one dip the cutlets  in the beaten eggs and, coated it with bread crumbs well. And deep fry the cutlets till you get a nice golden brown.
Enjoy!!!!

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Ghanakatha/ A Classic Srilankan Cookies.

Ghanakatha- Is another Popular tea time snack in Sri-Lanka. What I really Like about this is it is very simple to make yet beyond delicious. its is sweet, crunchy,  and buttey. I hope you guys enjoys this sweet treat with hot steaming Sri-Lankan Tea.

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Ingredients: 

1 cup flour
1 1/4 cup Icing sugar 
1/2 tsp baking powder
5 tbsp Ghee
1 tsp vanilla

1 tsp milk powder 

Method. 

Take bowl and combine the flour, icing sugar,baking powder and milk powder well.
Add the ghee and knead well.

add the vanilla and make small  balls and place on a greased tray.
Bake at 150c for 15 minutes.

Remove and let cool before serving.

fallow me on instagram for more exciting recipes and the food pics. 🙂

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